Looks like things have changed out there and we've all had to make huge adjustments just to survive. But how do we get our heads into a place where we focus on way more than survival? We need to set things up so that we can thrive in our new world.
Join Nancy Morris in this fun and practical webinar where we'll talk about what we have to do to shift our mindset, attitude and actions to make our new world what we want it to be.
Laurel: Everybody knows that we're going to be with Nancy Morris tonight. And for those of you who have seen Nancy before, either on our stage or heard her on our podcasts, we're going to have fun. Nancy always has great stories and great insight and she'll make you think, and she'll make you laugh. And hey, what more can we ask for, on a nice evening, right?
Sarah: That's it.
Laurel: Excuse me while I just dropped the cable. Oh, there we go. I don't want to have a production assistant to pick it up for me. There we go. Okay. I think we are ready to go. So, we always have to recognize our sponsors because without them, we just couldn't do this. They are in the business of real estate investing just like you.
Be sure to reach out to them when you can, because they really do provide a lot of value, with Elevation Realty, Carson Law, Hub International, Mission 35 Mortgages, BDO Canada, The Windrose Group, Blackjack Contracting, Pinnacle Wealth Management, aCISS Home and Commercial Inspection, king homes, Legal Second Suites, Arthex Property Management, Cashflow Tribe, and Private Money for Mortgages.
I have to say that all these people, we know these people, and they're all real consummate professionals and they're there to help you. They've helped and not necessarily, they've helped you, they've helped the other founders and a lot of people in the REITE clubs. This is a team ready, made for you. So, do reach out for them. Okay. And I have to get to the legal stuff because that really is important.
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Sarah: Awesome. Alright. So, everybody in the REITE club nation. Welcome to this evening's virtual events. It's going to be one hour. We will be done by 8:00 PM Eastern time. My name is Sarah Larbi. I'm here today with my wonderful co-host Laurel Simmons and we are going to be co-hosting this event or today together. And just a little bit of background for those of you that may not know our clubs started about three and a half years ago. We came together with Alfonso Salemi, Daniel St. Jean as well.
We've created back then. It was called SOREITE today and is called The REITE Club as we are actually coasting. So, used to stand for Southern Ontario, but now we are Canada wide and we've actually been working diligently to create this amazing Real Estate Investing Education Club and really cool guys, and feel free to add this in the chat.
Have you registered to our new online platform? We're going to talk about that. So, many awesome things you can find great team members, like many of those that Laurel was just mentioning. You can also ask questions, you can get your questions answered and there's gonna be tons more to come. We've had great success with online so far, and we just want to keep providing for you through different times, virtual and not virtual.
And each of us have different strategies. Laurel does rent to own. I do the BRRRR strategy and I'm getting into the Airbnb thing a bit more. We are here for you, club nation. And you guys are the reason that we want to do this club forward to give you that information.
If you have any questions throughout our webinar tonight, the Q and A box in the chat. Please ask your questions away. We'll grab a few of those questions and ask Nancy along the way. Again, it's just one hour and Nancy's information will be available. So, you guys can contact her after the fact, if you have additional questions. So, that will be posted.
Thanks very much guys for registering. Make sure that you put that queue. And If you are asking a question and we will try to reply to as many as we can, if we don't get to it and you guys have additional questions, then you'll be able to reach out to Nancy.
Laurel: Okay. And I think it's time to bring Nancy onto the stage. Let's do it. And she's coming. Okay. So, Nancy, how should I put this Nancy? You're my best friend. You're fabulous. There we go. You're fabulous. Thank you. I, how could I miss that word?
Nancy: Oh, it's Wednesday night? I'm just going to be a little crazy now.
Laurel: May I ask you that we're talking and one of the things that we've been looking at is, how things have changed out there in our world. But really we all have to get beyond that surviving mindset and attitude, and we have to move into the thriving attitude and mindset, any actions because when push comes to shove. However, the current crisis or whatever crisis it is that we happen to be dealing with at the time.
Resolves itself, life does go on. Business does go on and we all have to get on with things. And that's why we decided to go, to call this webinar, let's get on with it. We're really moving from beyond survival to the thriving stage of our lives. And Nancy, she's joining us from Ottawa, but she's a business and performance psychology consultant, speaker, and author. And she's also written a book on procrastination called, "Procrastinate Now: Rethinking Time Management" and you can download it for free from her web, nancymorris.com.
If you don't have it pulled up again, show up again, Nancy. Yeah, if you don't have a copy, go grab it because it's really fun. It won't take you long to read. She set it up so that even if you procrastinate a little bit, you'll still be able to get through it. Okay. So, Nancy, how do we move beyond surviving? Let's just talk about this. I don't know beyond surviving.
Nancy: Sure. I would really like a lot of questions to come through because I think then really be able to answer what people want to know, in order to continue moving forward. Whether that's because they're already thriving and they want to do it some more, or they feel stuck because of everything that's gone a little bit strange, or everybody's this is a summer. I want to go to the lake, which is, I have to say, Ottawa where we're finding a lot of people who just even though they'd been at home for the last three months.
The language in their head is, it's the summer. I don't work in the summer. So, I don't want to do anything until September. So, it makes for an interesting economy in Ottawa. But let's talk for a second. What do you think, what do you personally define for yourself? As thriving. What do you think thriving is? Sarah, Laurel, anybody.
Laurel: Okay. I can start. And then Sarah, you're going to be on the hot seat. For me though.
Sarah: I know, that's what I was trying to avoid.
Laurel: For me, thriving is doing what I enjoy. You're really having a lot of fun at it. Making things grow. Oh, gee, come grow with us. That's The REITE Club, right? And not worrying about all the things that go wrong or that, the focus is on the positive, that for me is thriving.
Nancy: Okay. Sarah?
Sarah: I think just having goals and reaching your goals, I'm just guessing here and you're going to give us the answer and I'm sure you'll have an explanation. But whatever my goals are, if I can achieve those and I'm happy with where I'm at. And I'm doing well emotionally, physically, financially. And I've got different areas of my life that I'm excited about. And I've got goals that I'm reaching, if I had to throw it out and dart in the wallet, is that a good definition?
Nancy: No, It's your definition that matters, not mine. There's a million different definitions. How, for example, psychologists see thriving or how bankers see thriving and how Joe Schmoe sees thriving. So, what's really important is a person's own definition of thriving. That's because that's what you want to achieve. So, if a person doesn't know what thriving looks like to them, I actually think you both gave really good definitions, particularly, or Sarah, where you were talking about not only achieving one for Sarah, not only achieving your goals, but also feeling good physically and emotionally and all those sorts of other things, because people, I know lots of people do really well and achieve their goals, but they're physically exhausted or they're emotionally drained or whatever.
It's that whole package that usually is a good definition of thriving. Now in terms of what was going on in the world right now. I'm going to go back to what I was saying before. A lot of people are sitting around and waiting for something to happen, waiting for the government to do something or for somebody to step in, fix something. The reality check is that, in business, so in the economy and in life, we're stuck with this coronavirus thing for a while.
I would say that it is reasonable from what I understand from the Canadian Federation of independent business, that Canadian Chamber of Commerce and all that sort of stuff. We actually know that it's going to have some impact for the next 18 to 24 months. So, are you going to sit around for the next 18, 24 months or are you going to get on with it?
I don't want to disregard the feelings that people have had. I don't want to disregard any of the fears, any of the concerns, any of the hesitations that come up because we are dealing, we are all dealing with an unknown. I'm not trying to dismiss that at all. And everybody has a point in time and it's usually different from other people, but everybody has a point in time where they'll draw a line and say, okay, that's enough of that.
Now, I need to get on with it. Part of what I thought we would talk about is if you're not quite there yet, how do you draw that line for yourself? There's a couple of those things. If I may talk about one of the reasons why we stay stuck is because we feel a degree of stress. It was just a very brief stop on stress, Laurel.
You and I have talked about this a lot before. There is a simple definition for stress and stress occurs when perceived demand exceeds perceived ability to cope. What word did I say twice? No leading question there. I'll just draw that one down.
Sarah: But as you were saying that, you know what I was thinking of like real estate and supply and demand. But anyways, keep going.
Nancy: Yeah. We'll come back around to that. Stress is a perception for the most part. Yes, there are parts of stress that are automatic responses in your body and your mind and all that. But a lot of our conscious stress is about our perceptions. One of the reasons why we became stressed out and everybody ran off to Loblaws or whomever to buy toilet paper way back in March was this loss of control. But that's because they perceive, they had control to begin with one of the great equalizers in what's going on in our world right now is you're getting smacked in the face of what you can't control and the fact that you never could control a whole bunch of stuff that you thought you could control.
All sorts of stuff, your results, what other people were doing. You say to yourself? No, I know I can't control that, but you try to, anyway, blah-blah-blah all that sort of stuff. So, when the March 15th sale came along, it was all this. Nope. You can't control any of this. And we're going to yank the carpet out from underneath you and shut all the doors.
And that created a whole world of people. Getting a real taste of not having any control. So, let's actually leverage the fact that we have no control going back to the definition of stress. If you're still feeling stressed about coronavirus and what's going on, I would suggest to you that you're still trying to control stuff that you can't focus more on, less about demand in terms of, perception of demand, but your ability to cope.
Yes, none of us have experienced a pandemic like this before here in Ontario, Canada. However, we have all experienced massive challenges in life where we've had to pivot our thinking, pivot our actions, change what we're doing. So, if you're still feeling the stress of the coronavirus, And how it's changed the world.
Then I would encourage you to remind yourself of those days, time situations in life, where you actually had to make some big decisions and change something significantly because something in your world changed could be a personal issue. It could be a work issue, and it just doesn't really matter. Resilience comes from an awareness that you've experienced hardship before. And what did you learn from that? Yes, dear?
Laurel: I just want to throw something in here. It seems to be that you're talking about perceived stress and loss of control. But I think part of that is there's a lot of grieving. And it's a loss, is that word loss, right? So, when we lose something, we grieve it. And I think a lot of people are in that grieving phase and they don't realize it.
Nancy: I would agree with that. I think that's a really good point and they don't realize they're grieving something they never had to begin with. They just had the perception of control. So, if any of this is resonating for somebody listening to this, then it's time to sit back and say, okay, what am I trying to control? What have I forgotten that I'm capable of? You have to remember who you are, because I would imagine that everybody who's listening has faced challenges before, where they've had to make big decisions or change something substantially.
And that person still exists. You've just gotta remind yourself who you are. And as you say, quite rightly, Laurel. Am I grieving something? Is it the idea of control or is it, am I grieving something else? Am I grieving the path that I was on? I know a lot of business owners who saw their business over the next 12 months and then that's gone. And that's a loss because you plan for all of that. Don't you plan, this is where I'm going to be in six months. These are the actions I'm going to take and all that sort of stuff. And then all of a sudden no, that's just all gone.
If it resonates that, maybe you're still in that place, then I would encourage you to do what you need to do. But the first thing to do is recognize your ability to cope with your resilience and try and identify a feeling that you have whether it's loss or something related to grief, because I think that's a really good point, Laurel actually, that we should not dismiss. People don't grieve. They don't know how. So, it's not like there's a course in high school, if this is how you grieve, we don't have that.
I think that's a really good reminder to us all and recognizing that your stress for the most part is within your control because it's based on your perceptions and then drawing the line. And say, I'm going to move forward. Now, I'm going to take the next steps, whatever those are. A lot of my clients right now are asking to work with me to redo their business. Because they're realizing that what was in terms of their business plan has changed. And I know that the real estate market is jeez. It's crazy, crazy good. So, yay. But it's also different. So what needs to change Sarah?
Sarah: It's a great time now to just even rethink your plan, but rethink your plan, not just with yourself, but this is a great time to even have that conversation with your mortgage broker, your accountant, your real estate coach, whoever you've got and shift. Keep in mind that you want to plan for potentially phase two of this to happen again. But you also want to plan for the opportunity.
You want to look at the risk and you want to look at the opportunity. So, this is a great time to have those conversations with some of your key members and yourself as well. And your spouse or whoever you know, is going to be part of it. I'll tell you, I've made the decision to quit my job, coming in September. But they've got the notice because I realized that like personally, for me before COVID I didn't even have time to really go. And it allowed me. And then of course, there's pros and cons.
You've got to make the most of every single situation. But I think it allowed me to realize that I was doing real estate for the freedom, but I had created a life that was not that, but I was in a position financially that I actually didn't need the job. So, I'm like, I need to refinance. So, I refinanced essentially three properties. And this last one here now allows me to leave permanently and to continue that full-time. But I'll tell you, that was part of the saying, okay, I don't have a whole lot of control over so many things, how to replant and how to reposition.
That was meeting with my mortgage broker and meeting with even my bookkeeper. My bookkeeper was like, you're in a really high tax bracket. You're paying too much tax. And then I'm like, yeah, I should probably. And the fact that they're all basically encouraging me to do it. I think this for me needed to happen to realize that I was living pretty much where I wanted to be, and I reached my goals and it didn't need to hang on to a safety net at some point. It's just time to let go.
Nancy: Yeah. And a lot of people are talking about the opportunities that they're seeing. Now that they've stopped now that they were forced to sit and look at things. And what was originally for many people really frightening and what's going on here? It's oh, I've got some opportunities to look at stuff. And I know quite a number of people who not so much in their real estate investing, but just in other parts of business have shifted not because they had to, but because they wanted to, and they had the opportunity too.
And now they're serving their clients, the same clients, which are serving them differently. And I'm doing the thing that you always wanted to do. But never, you were always so busy. You never had the chance to do that sort of thing. So, it's amazing how many people, like you say, do real estate investing for freedom and then are just working 24/7.
Sarah: And you know what? I will say though, when we say real estate investing the investment part, doesn't take the time. It's actually the podcast, the webinars, the right clubs, like all that other stuff that we love to do, but it's a lot of time. Because I just want to clarify if you've got like a handful of properties, it is not going to take you 40 hours a week. Trust me.
Nancy: Right. And the opportunities that are arising from the stillness. I've heard so many people and listened to podcasts and stuff, talking about opportunities. And I wonder how many people are actually taking those opportunities and realizing that this is a real opportunity for them to thrive to do something, so that they can thrive going forward.
Yes. We're likely to have another wave of it and it's possible the government's going to step in and close down nonessentials again and all that sort of stuff. And there's probably not going to be any more government money or it's going to be limited, or it's going to have tighter rules or whatever. So, what can you do? And you want to analyze all of that and have a leap of faith as well and do what you want to do.
Laurel: I think one of the things I keep reminding myself of is that although I was not around during the great. I may have white hair, but I was not around during the great depression. We hear so many stories about how there were more millionaires created during the great depression than any other time in history. So, that says that something happened there. There's when you get these really world shaking events there's always opportunity, right?
It comes to our mind. It's how we look at things. It's because the people that really thrive that not just thrive, but they just go zoom. They just show that stratosphere. They're looking down at their feet and how they're stuck in the mud. I'm really mixing metaphors here.
Sarah: It's true. Even 08 and 09, you look at the US and you look at the investors that just went all in at that point in time and picked up a ton of great opportunities and rode the wave up. If you've got stuff right now, hang on to it. If it's cash flows, this is actually good, unfortunately you're going to be able to see who's an investor and who's a speculator, and it's unfortunate, and this is why. Not only for cashflow, but you need to have some cash flow to ride this wave. And I don't personally think we've seen the effects of it quite yet.
Nancy: So, yeah, somebody just wrote that they're very jealous. That's amazing. That's great. One thing that I wonder if people do in these sorts of situations is celebrate the achievements that they've had so far, you knew I was going to go there at some point, didn't she, Laurel? Because I think again, going back to the resilience piece and then I want to move on to more of the thriving stuff, but the resilience we have to be resilient. Both in our attitudes and our actions as I call them both in our brains and our behavior, we have to be resilient because that's going to help us.
And the other thing to remember about these sorts of situations. Because I was running a corporate training company in commercial real estate, mostly where my clients were coming from 08 and 09. And the first thing to go in that sort of situation. The budget's cut for that, not for me, fortunately.
I was still able to get a couple of more clients at that time as well. And I was also around in 01. I started my business in 2000, so it was just starting and in a one when the world went a little pear shaped for a while and. If one thing I often talk about, cause I'm kinda going around the houses right now.
Everything is a bell curve, if you think about it, everything is a bell curve. And on one end of the bell curve, what would be the left-hand side of the bell curve? There are people that are going to really read the reading, and really struggle. And then there are going to be people on the right-hand side that are going to do amazingly well, like amazingly most of us.
What I don't want people to do is start looking at those people who are doing amazingly well, or even those people who are not and compare themselves to that because 99% of us, 98% of us are in the middle. And it's okay to be in the middle. It's okay to be in the bell part of the bell curve and still keep moving forward.
That's what makes a bell curve, because what ends up happening, I find when people are under stress, if they're not feeling resilient or whatever, they start comparing themselves. Trust in yourself that there's opportunities out there for you and for other people, maybe they'll find them faster than you, or maybe they'll do something faster than you.
You just keep moving forward. You either stay in your lane or find another lane or whatever, you do something and not really worry about what other people are doing. Learn from models, for sure. But don't worry about what they're doing because there are going to be people who are super amazing or really struggling and comparing yourself to anyone at any time. It's silly anyway, it makes it even worse in a situation like this.
That is one thing that stops us from thriving because we start looking at everybody else to see what they're doing. The idea of validation is really important to most people. So, that sort of oh, what's Laurel doing and what she is able to achieve. And it's oh no, I can't do that. I can't do it. Laurel's doing, and that doesn't help one to thrive. So, not to pick on you, Laurel.
Laurel: No, it's just everybody's different. And to compete, you can't, I can't compare myself to you or just stare up because we all come from different places. We have different experiences and all the rest of it. The only thing that we can do is really, I don't even want to say compared to yourself, I suppose we could, but it's just, how are we going to move forward? Because we were talking about entropy, right? Maybe that shrink and die or you grow. That's the state of the universe.
Nancy: Yeah, it's a misnomer to think that you can stay where you are and that's, you're neither shrinking nor growing because the world changes around you every nanosecond of the day. So, if you're not aware of that and if you just sit then yeah, the world goes past you. And you ended up shrinking in that.
Laurel: And it goes by faster and faster. However, I want to go back to something that you said, you ask people or tell people that we have to draw a line in the sand or that when we draw the line in the sand to move from surviving to thriving. So, how do you draw that line? What if you wake up one morning and say that's it, I get over it.
Nancy: Drawing a line doesn't mean you necessarily get over something. Drawing a line can be, I'm not going to worry about this. I'm not going to get lost in this anymore. It may still be in my mind, but I'm going to make new steps today. I'm going to take new steps today. You still might have something you need to deal with, particularly if it's a sense of loss or grief. But I'm not going to continue with these behaviors today. And when I notice myself saying really bad things or whatever I'm going to stop that and I'll park it for a while.
It's very rare. You can draw a line and just forget about everything. It's more, I'm going to draw a line in these behaviors today and do something a little bit differently. There is a trick though that I was talking to somebody else earlier today, and this came up in our conversation. I think it's a really good tip. If you hear yourself making what are known as when, then statements. So, when "X" happens, then I'll feel "Y", or then I'll do "Y". When then statements are the opposite of thriving makes you dependent upon other things. So, let's take one of those Laurel, come up with a win then statement. Just off the top of your head. Cause why not?
Laurel: What would I make? When I have $2 million in my bank account, then I'm going to buy a Villa in Chile and a vineyard right beside it?
Nancy: Okay. And then I'm coming for a visit. And how close are you to the 2 million? Probably, yeah. So, when you have 2 million, then you're going to buy a Villa in Chile. Okay. That's two separate desired outcomes. It's not, you're making the second one contingent upon the first. And usually when we're making, when- then statements, we're not making a statement like buying a Villa or something. It's more about a feeling.
Laurel: Oh, I have 2 million dollars, I'll be so happy. I won't have to worry about anything.
Nancy: Yes, exactly. And I'll be free, I'll be this, and I'll have all these feelings. And that's really detrimental. So, that is getting rid of the, when-then statement and focusing more on. So, let's take a long time ago. I've got to use my own example, a long time ago. When I was moving from the United Kingdom back to Canada when I just started my business. And so, it was scraping by pretty much every month to pay the bills. And I decided, I'm coming back. I'm going back to Canada.
I said this to a friend of mine in the UK. I said, when I have 5,000 pounds, I'll move back to Canada. I'll have the money. I'll feel secure enough to go and shoot. When are you going to have 5K in the bank? It was like, yeah, good point. So, I turned it into two separate goals. On the one side, it was 5,000 pounds. That's my desired outcome. And on the other side I'm going back to Canada. I'm going to feel confident to go back to Canada now.
I actually decided, okay, over here, I'm going to make some performance goals, which we've talked about before, but I'm going to make some performance goals to earn the 5k. And then on this side, I'm also going to make some performance goals to get myself back to Canada. So, that was not contingent upon that. And the confidence that I felt, I needed because I'd been out of the country for so long. I just decided to be more confident. I just decided. I decided to go back to the idea of happiness, when I have "X" amount of money, I'm going to feel financially independent when you can actually feel financially independent today, without having that amount of money in the bank.
If you really look at your definitions of abundance and wealth, you can feel those because those are emotions. Those are often attached to things, but they're actually feelings and you can create feelings because feelings are created. They're not the result of something. So, I wouldn't, if people have, when-then statements. You can literally write it out across the top of a piece of paper and then draw a vertical line just before the then part. And on this side, you write out your performance goals and your actions to achieve the front part. And on this side, you write out your performance, goals and actions to achieve the second part, because if I want to, I can see when I have a million dollars in the bank, I'll feel financially secure. If I sit here, I can actually allow myself to feel financially secure. If I was to get everybody to close their eyes right now, I could get you to feel something.
Now, I'm not going to do it because I'm going to be nice, but I could get you to feel something just by the words I say. And that's the same thing that happens in your own mind just by your thing. You can make yourself feel something. Would you do an experiment with me right now though? That's got nothing to do with that. It's got something to do with that.
You both have to do it. You both, everybody has to do it if they can. And as long as they're not driving Sarah, you're both going to do it. So, what I'd like you guys to do is, sit in your chairs right now as if you were hugely confident as if you felt on top of the world as if you felt like you could do anything you wanted to do and your confidence and self-esteem was really high. Sit in your chair that way, Sarah's on. Now I want you to sit in your chair. Like you've had a really shitty day and you're feeling like you can get nothing done and you just feel okay. I want you to sit in your chair as if you're feeling super confident. Again, Laurel, you're not moving. You just feel like crap all the time.
Laurel: Minor movements inside, I'm smiling because I haven't had this conversation with myself. Okay. I don't talk to myself. I wake up in the morning and halfway through the day I go, oh my gosh, this is a great day. This is a wonderful day. Look at this and then I'll stop. And I'll say the only thing that is different from yesterday. It's not my external world. It's my internal world. My attitude is what I'm thinking. I'm smiling and I'm happy. And I have the same issues to deal with. I said, problems at the same time. Crappy stuff to deal with on my desk, but it's a great day.
Nancy: Yep.
Laurel: Yesterday, it wasn't.
Nancy: It's interesting people don't realize this. When most people are feeling blue or sad, their shoulders come in and their head goes down. The chin goes down and what happens is this, the spinal column and the spinal cord and the brain reacts differently because what you're doing is blocking some of the circulation in your spinal cord of cerebral spinal fluid.
And it changes the way you think. But when you do this. And you sit up straight and all that sort of stuff, her stand up whenever you're talking and all that, then the spine is nice and straight. And again, it changes it's tongue in cheek. It's called a state cycle. And it's this idea that you can actually change how you feel by changing your body position.
And it's actually been shown to be quite accurate because as Sarah was doing, this is really what people do when they're bored or, body language, you can look at somebody and you can tell when they're checking out, and, or really all that concerned about what you're saying or whatever, it's the same sort of thing, but it's how you do it to yourself. That matters, and it's the same with your thinking. Yeah, go ahead, Sarah.
Sarah: I was gonna say, even with public speaking, when you're getting coaching for that, they say, like they have a power pose.
Nancy: Yep. It's hands on the hip or the Superman thing. They get people to do that. And it does work that chemicals in your body are a little bit different and it does work. People don't realize the amazing power their thoughts have over their feelings. So, that's what I'm saying about, usually when-then statement that then it's usually a feeling and you can turn it on like this. You can also turn on sadness and all the rest of it like that too, which isn't necessarily what you want to do, but you can.
That wouldn't be a way to shift what's going on in your world. If you check any when-then statements that you have also, I would encourage people to check inside again and stop shooting on themselves. Okay. And I do say that very carefully.
Sarah: Yeah. And watch that analysis paralysis. That's the other thing that I would say now we have a question for you Nancy, from Jolanta. Now she was asking, how do you go from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset? So, turn the thought of I can't to I can.
Nancy: That's a great question. And Carol to work, who wrote the book on, I think that's her surname who wrote the book on a fixed mindset and growth mindset. I think she would agree with me on this, that it goes back to what I was just saying, remember when you thought you couldn't, but you did and tell yourself that you can repeatedly remind yourself that you can check your language at the door and the door being your subconscious door.
What's coming into my head, what am I saying to myself? I've said this before. I think either in the podcast or on one of these before You spoke to your neighbors, the way you speak to yourself, you'd have no neighbors, right? Because we don't talk very well to ourselves. And that is point number one in fixed mindset versus growth mindset. Mindset is a series of choices and decisions based on what you're telling yourself.
Now, a lot of people disagree and they think that it's not moving. If you have a fixed mindset, it's fixed. If you have a growth mindset, you'll never have a fixed mindset, then there's other science that says no, that's absolutely wrong. And I'm on that part. I believe that all mindsets can be quite malleable because in many ways, mindset is a learned behavior. When you're six weeks old, you're not sitting there going, oh, I think I'm going to have a fixed mindset when I grow up. We don't do that, or I think I'm going to have low self-esteem or I think I'm going to be highly confident. We don't do that.
A lot of how we grow up and interpret our world, impacts our mindset. So, what is it that prevents someone from saying I can't. What I do personally as Laurel, knows. Thank you for the book reference. Yeah. Great book. What Laurel knows. I do things that push myself. I jumped out of planes. I really stupidly jumped out of a plane. I don't like Heights. I don't like flying and I leapt out of a plane years ago, but I have to say that when I think about what I can and cannot do, it's one of the things I refer back to, to remind myself of what I'm capable of.
Who would have thought I would ever strap on a very weak bit of nylon and a few strings and flap to 4,000 feet and jump out of a plane, not in tandem, but all by my little lonesome. Reminding yourself of these things that you can do. And do, that's a pretty grand thing. So, I would encourage people every single day, do a little something. Eat a frog, perhaps for those who don't know what that is, read the book.
Sarah: Maybe just give us a little bit of a sentence on that?
Nancy: Hyphenated version of that, eating the frog is doing something you don't really want to. A frog is the thing that you're avoiding. You're hesitating about one of the reasons why doing that thing first thing every morning, and this is what they don't talk about in the books about time management and stuff like that is your brain is incredibly creative and it will come up with all sorts of ways to avoid the frog.
You'll find a cat that needs to be combed or you'll find dishes that need to be washed, or you'll find, you'll help Bob out with whatever Bob needs to do instead of dealing with your own frogs. So, when you eat that frog every morning for 15 minutes, what you're actually doing is releasing that creative brain that's trying to help you avoid the frog all day long. You're releasing it to figure out interesting problems or to get engaged with the things that you want to be engaged with.
We work very hard. Our brain works very hard to minimize our effort and to Ensure that we don't feel anxious about tasks. If we can stop feeling anxious. So, instead of doing something that you don't want to do. Doing the thing that you don't want to do for 15 minutes, first thing every morning. Show you personally, and also get your brain around the idea that this thing won't hurt me because we avoid tasks because we have a fear or worry.
That's what eating a frog is all about. And that's the fastest way to grow confidence. If somebody says to me, what's your top tip for building my confidence in any aspect of my life, that would be it. And I've worked with many clients over the years where all we focus on for the first two, three weeks of our contract together is eating frogs every day.
Sarah: And like you're saying, if you get out of your comfort zone and you do something that you're not. As comfortable as you are, that's how you grow. That's how you get to that next level. And it's important to step out of that comfort zone so that you can stretch yourself without overstressing yourself, but stretch yourself to be able to take that next step. Maybe it's that first investment property. I remember my first couple, when I bought them. I was way more scared and then you get used to it and you're like, oh yeah. Okay.
And then you don't even see all of them at some point. Like I started making offers and you learn over time, but like you, the cut and it becomes more comfortable. And then now, we're, it's that next thing and that next thing, but I think that's part of, and maybe Nancy, even just like happiness in general, right? You get to your goal, you have to have a next goal, you have to have something else to strive for, because and maybe not everybody does, but it could be even just like a small thing. Okay.
Now, you're here. What's next? I thought it would be amazing once I got my first mill and to be honest, it was, and I should've probably celebrated it more, but it was uneventful to say that I'd have a party or something. But then it's okay, what's the next goal? What's the next goal, right? Because you get here and oh, okay. That's comfortable. Yeah. It's okay.
Nancy: That's because the journey and we say it all the time, the journey is more important than the destination. The journey is really where all the, all the little goals are being achieved on a daily basis, all the new little choices and decisions, the micro decisions that you have to make.
Sarah: Yeah. I know you mentioned the journey piece because that's the important piece, is to enjoy the process along the way.
Nancy: Absolutely. And one of the things though, I'm just going to add on to what you were saying. You're absolutely right. Goals and minor performance goals. I talk about performance goals that are so important to the psyche, but stretching yourself. The key with stretching yourself is having your safety system around. Whether it's people who validate what you've just done and that's going to come.
Laurel and I have been friends for a long time and I will use Laurel as my validation tool. I also used her as my accountability tool. That's a different story. So, if I do something really good, I know Laurel is gonna pat me on the back. And so, I'm safe and you know what I mean? And that's really important because when we take a risk, we want to have something potentially. If we can't give ourselves the validation in the moment we want something or someone to give it to us.
And it is okay to ask that of your friends. But asking specifically, because I don't know about you, but there's been lots of times in my life. I've done something that I thought was really cool and nobody noticed. Okay. And you feel even worse. So, I would say to Laurel and this, I would say to you, I'm going to do this thing.
Please see me as basically what I was asking. And she saw me and I felt safe and all the rest of it. It is amazing. What you will do when you know that somebody has or somebody sees you quite often, I'm hired just for that. Like people know what to do and they hire me for the accountability bit and the encouragement and validation because they don't necessarily have that in their circle, but if you do well, if you don't get it one way or another, because that will help you to thrive as well.
You're more likely to take risks. And I don't even mean big risks. Just get out of your comfort zone, even just a little bit. If you know that somebody sees you doing it, like positively sees you not negatively, but positively sees you do it. Does that make sense? Everybody knows it.
Laurel: I think it just means that, but again, I'm a whole bunch of thoughts running through my head right now that I think we can unpack this for hours. But it comes back to, I think at the basic level of being conscious of being aware, becoming more aware of what you're thinking and what you're doing, because they're there too are intricately linked. Even if I have a little meditation app and one of the little meditations I found, which is really cool.
It trains you how to have thoughts, because we're all bombarded with thoughts like thousands a day, right? It trains you how to take those thoughts and put them in a literally virtual filing cabinet in your head and you can follow them anywhere you want. And it trains you to think about what's this. I don't need to think about that. I go into that file again. And oh, that's not very nice. But master the technique of helping yourself. Deal with the negative thoughts and the negative talk that can then affect your actions, entering them into negative actions. And now we're in a downward spiral.
Nancy: Yeah. And that reminds me too of what I often talk about with people who are feeling a bit discombobulated and all over the place is alignment and congruence. Are you aligned, what I call your head and your hands. So, basically what you like, who you feel you are and your values and all that sort of stuff is really deeply ingrained in most people. And then we run it through our head, which sometimes screws things up because of our previous life experiences and that negativity and the when-then statements and all that noise and the little devil that sits on your shoulder, that you really should punch off from time to time.
And the actions that you take when you're in alignment, when all those three things are aligned. So, you're doing what you're passionate about or what you love doing or what excites you or whatever. You're thinking of that sort of growth mindset, but also feeling confident and feeling like you're in the right place.
And then you're actually acting on that. Then you will see. That's where thriving comes from. All that is proceeded through, by taking care of your physical, emotional, spiritual health. You're not going to thrive at all. If you're running yourself into the ground and everybody's a little bit different about how they do this, but where are the gaps in your physical, emotional, spiritual, psychological, whatever helps you on to look at that step number one for thriving is, the usual cliche stuff of getting some sleep and all that, but also celebrating the things that you achieve on a daily basis.
Even if what you achieved was sitting in front of the television and watching shows that you liked, if that was your achievement today because sometimes my achievement, when I'm in a really bad mood, is getting out of bed. Sometimes that's my success of the day. That's rare, but sometimes celebrating your achievements, celebrating who you are.
Pushing yourself a little bit by eating a frog, acknowledging that you've done that, having the right people around you, having those people around you, who can help you get where you want to go, or are already there themselves and can help you up or help you over whichever way you want to look at it. And that is where thriving comes from and aligning the heart, head and hands. When you do that you will be thriving.
Sarah: Yeah, absolutely. And it makes sense that you've got to have the other parts of your life going for you, right? We're not in real estate because of the bricks and the mortar and the windows. It's about what it can do for us from a time perspective or being able to engage more and have better relationships. Being able to take better care of your health because you might have less stress financially.
All of those things mean, why do many of us do the real estate thing? It's not because we're like, oh, brick and mortar, it's better than paper assets, but it has, in my opinion, a better way to create wealth for the really ultimately they save yet, like the millionaire 95% is from real estate investing. There's something to be said with that, and it's not even about the money per se. It's about what that allows you to be able to do and feel and who you can hang out with and just everything that goes around that.
I think that mindset. And this is why we do these mindless state segments as well, because mindset is going to be key because if we're also focused on the next deal. And then all of a sudden we don't hang out with our friends. We miss a lot of our family events and it's just always just that next deal. You're going to get to your financial goal and then you'll look back. You would have missed the journey. Like you mentioned, it's all about the journey along the way.
And at the end of the day, I don't know if we're going to be happier. When we look back and say, I didn't take care of my health. I lost a ton of relationships that mattered to me just because I didn't have time. So, there's just all that piece to consider as well. So, if there's one key takeaway, Nancy that you can leave us with, what would that be? If you just have to pick one?
Nancy: I hate this question. One key takeaway. Can I have two? Sure. Okay. Thank you. Two, there are no secrets to success. Just systems, focus on your systems. And that will help you to thrive as well. And then just leveraging what you were talking about balance don't lose sight of the balance in your life, emotional, physical psychological health, wealth, all that sort of stuff. Find that balance. And again, you will thrive. So, those two things focus on systems and focus on the foundations, which is the balance of all aspects of your life.
Sarah: Amazing. Nancy, thank you so much for being an amazing guest on our mind state webinar and guys, club nation, Nancy's information will be on the screen as well. You can actually write this information down, reach out to Nancy, check out Nancy's website, order her book. She's a wealth of knowledge and I want to say thank you so much Nancy for all the great insights. Laurel, what was your biggest takeaway?
Laurel: At the end of the world is more important than the outer world. Like I don't care what's going on outside. It's how I react, it's not just react. That's the wrong word. It's what I choose to focus on. The self-talk, that's more important than anything else. I don't care about mortgage rates. I don't care about the price of real estate, whether it's gone up and down. I don't care about inventory. I don't care. It's not that I don't care, but that is far less important than how you face your day and what you tell yourself about how you feel and what you're doing. And what's great in your life.
Sarah: Absolutely. Awesome. Thanks for sharing, a hundred percent agree. And REITE club nation, a couple updates, podcasts every Friday, our airing Mandy Branham in Ryan Carson, Adam Batstone are the next couple and we've got some really awesome webinars coming up as well. So, Wednesday, August 5th, guys, write this down at 1:00 PM. Rent to own with Claire Drage, Limor Markman, Ryan Carson. We're going to talk about everything that you need to know from a financing point of view, a legal point of view and everything in between for rent to own.
August 5th got one Wednesday, August 19th, write that down. It will be another mind to state with Harry James at 7:00 PM. And those are one hour. And then we've also got our online community. So, just to show in the chat section, guys, how many of you guys have registered thereiteclub.com and created your profile? I started looking around, checking the forums, asking some questions, and getting answers. Guys, our team is the most critical thing to our success. Find your team there. Reach out to people.
There's a list of directories. There are forums, ask questions, get answers. And we're going to add many more things along the way. Keep looking through it and participate. So, if you haven't registered with guys thereiteclub.com, I know we wanted to make sure that we get you all an opportunity to keep networking and keep connecting.
In addition to when we were doing online events and in addition to these webinars, because at the end of the day your network is your net worth. And so guys if you could take two seconds to register, thereiteclub.com online, that'd be amazing guys. Thank you for joining Laurel. Thank you so much.
Laurel: Sarah, I want to add something because speaking of the team. There's a team behind what Sarah and I do and what we do in our webinars and our online community and everything else. If we didn't have Katherine and Paul helping us. Paul's our technical host and our marketing and branding expert, Paul Copcutt and Katherine Nelson-Riley is our OPS manager. And she's our, I wanted to say slave driver, but that's not the right word, but she's great.
She keeps us on track. She keeps us going. She's our detailer. She looks after all that stuff. Oh, as Nancy just said, she's our Goddess. Yes. We couldn't do it without you and we couldn't do it without you, Paul. So, thank you very much. And I think that does it for now. Join us on the online community. Sarah, it was great to see you, Nancy. Thank you so much. And thank you everybody for turning up.
Sarah: REITE Club nation. Thanks very much. Have a great evening.
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